Signed the lease for my NYC apartment today! Things are moving so fast, but I’m really grateful that everything is working out so well. My flight is next Wednesday, and I can hardly believe it!
Finished reading A Wind in the Door recently. I’m trying to revisit books that meant a lot to me as a kid.
“No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally - and often far more - worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond.”
And in revisiting this book, I’ve realized how much it probably influenced me and my general worldview. For example, a recurring concept in the book is the relativity of size: the protagonists visit organelles smaller than mitochondria and observe phenomena on the scale of galaxies. But in each of these experiences, there are the same principles and patterns that repeat themselves across time and space. The hierarchy in A Wind in the Door goes: farandolae → mitochondria → human → planet → galaxy → universe. It reminds me of my Crisis revelation of how things are nested into each other like matryoshka (Russian nesting) dolls. Also, I’m sure that this book influenced this dream that I had that can be found in my dream journal:
In the beginning, I was at what appeared to be a space station of sorts. Shuttles ebbed and flowed from the terminal, but I didn’t know where they were coming from, or where they were heading. A shuttle stopped in front of me, and I had the inexplicable urge to board it. The shuttle’s interior looked like an airplane’s, and I took a window seat. As soon as I sat down, the shuttle took off. It shrunk down to less than the size of an atom. The next thing I knew, it entered one of my own cells. I looked outside, and I saw that there was a whole universe inside of this cell. Tiny planets and stars littered the vast emptiness, and a double helix threaded the dark space together.
… and this reminds me of The Universe in a Single Atom by the Dalai Lama.
A Wind in the Door also contains messages about the interconnected nature of things. One of the characters references this proverb:
For want of a nail a shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; for want of a horse the rider was lost; for want of a rider the message was lost; for want of a message the battle was lost; for want of a battle the war was lost; for want of the war the kingdom was lost; and all for the want of a horseshoe nail.
… and this reminds me the Game of Life, chaos theory, and Tolstoy’s integral metaphor from War and Peace. I’ve never read War and Peace (on my to-dos!) but I read this paperIf this link is broken, go to a working mirror of Sci-Hub (what a fantastic website!) and search for Tolstoy's Integration Metaphor from War and Peace by Stephen T. Ahearn. explaining the metaphor, and how Tolstoy was critical of Napoleon’s placement at the center of historical change in the 1800s.
The movement of humanity, arising as it does from innumerable arbitrary human wills, is continuous. To understand the laws of this continuous movement is the aim of history… . Only by taking infinitesimally small units for observation (the differential of history, that is, the individual tendencies of men) and attaining to the art of integrating them (that is, finding the sum of these infinitesimals) can we hope to arrive at the laws of history.
Everything matters. Everyone matters. We’re all integral players in the grand symphony of the universe. It’s a compelling thought, in my opinion.
Here’s a song that I found recently: “Ecchymose” by Palatine. It’s in French, but here’s the (Google Translate) translation:
Bye bye, Bye bye
I have to go
Before you leave a memory on your cheek
Well fictionalized this story seemed so beautiful you know
But faced with reality
We love each other
Bye bye, Bye bye
I have to go
There where my hands rest
Grows bruises
Bye bye, Oh bye bye
You have to run away
Before you keep on your skin
A memory
Everybody know it
My hands leave traces
You might as well hide your face
We love each other
Bye bye, Oh bye bye
I have to run away
Where my hands rest
Grows bruises
Where my hands rest
Grows bruises
Oh, oh, elder
There where my hands rest
Grows bruises ...
Grows bruises ...I think it’s beautiful. I’ve definitely lived the words. Throughout my life, I’ve run away from things that could have been because I was scared of losing it and being left with nothing but the faint sting of a memory that fades with each reminiscence. No longer! I’ve chosen love.
And through this song, I learned a new word! (def) ecchymosis: a discoloration of the skin resulting from bleeding underneath, typically caused by bruising. The word is slightly relevant, because I often get unexplainable bruises on my arms and legs.
Other random thoughts: I was thinking about the irony of whole and hole — homonyms, but couldn’t be more antithetical in meaning! I was hoping that they’d have related etymologies, but no luck.The reason why I hoped this was that I've been thinking about how the modern day words awesome and awful have contrary meanings, but in older times, they were both used to describe things of great ineffableness. I think it captures the oneness of the illusory dualistic nature of many things - that which can be glorious is also that which can be horrifying. I think the concept of awe captures this well. They are both of Germanic origin, though.
Also thinking about how I should have a “fun” book at all times — I find myself hesitant to read because I feel the obligation to mark notes and quotes and make analyses. If I have a “fun” book that I don’t feel the pressure to analyse, I think I’ll read a lot more!